(In the room...Kevin, Matt (Kevin best friend) and this girl Katy which the boy were tryin to get us to make out)
Kevin - dont worry about us we do our own thing!
Me- umm.. thanks
so i guess thats thats
not that we are over just now i know the truth that I guess kevin doesn't see us as really anything. What they say is true.. You learn something new each day. I just wish it didn't hurt.
He also told me how he plans to take year round classes next year. I knew being with Kevin was going to be hard but this is not a relationship its feels like just a person who i see once in a while and fuck. well.. ok maybe we are not just that but it really feels sometimes thats what we have turned into. When I told Evan he was loving it.. just made me hate him more! I really wish I didn't have feeling for Evan but I do.
About a week ago.. as wrong as it was I went and chilled with him.. drank alittle and played some pool after words we went back and watched a movie at his place I didn't do anything with him.. but i ended up spilling my feelings for him and felt like a fool. I told him in tears how it sucks falling for someone who will never feel the same about you as you do for them. I couldn't take it anymore so I went to leave Evan stopped me and said only the worst thing in the world. "Kat your an amazing girl.. just..." I stopped him there and said I cant and left. It was best I already knew what he was going to say and even if it wasn't he woulda stopped me which he didn't. I so tired of chancing boys wheres my movie tale endding where he comes out of the home and grabs my arm turns me around and kisses me. For a boy who is in love with movies as Evan is one would think he would learn from them.
