i missed everything up.

i missed everything up.
i missed everything up.
i missed everything up.
i FUCKING missed everything up.


why do i do this to myself all the fucking time.
i feel the words coming out of my mouth and know i should stop myself but nope.. i just let the vomit come out.

i told Kevin that i had said something to Evan about him having problems in certain areas (which telling Evan all of this i told him before me and Kevin started actaully dating). But it was only to ask if i could do anything to help in those areas but i think he took it wrong. which sucks because now Kevin doesn't have any problem.. in fact its the best sex i have ever had. He is the first guy that can actually get me off while having sex. he's the first guy i can actually see myself with for a while....and i hurt him.. i manged to make him now not trust me.
i have to stop because i just cant write anymore without starting a cry.

FUCKKKKKK! why do i fuck everything up.