eye playing tricks

i saw him. Kevin that is.
or did i.
i kept thinking in my head how great it would be just to run in to him at a store, a restaurant, anything really. which could in fact actually happen.. i mean the towns not that bigg. just the perfect scene goes something like this in my head.

i see him.
he sees me.
i walk past him.
both look up.
says only this all very relaxed., "oh ..hey Kevin."
he gets a crazy look on his face, "like ...thats it, why isn't she mad"
then just walk away, and don't look back.

now the question that keeps running through my head...? was is him? if it was him, did he see me? i know i am going to sound like a freak crazy person but...he moved like him, pulled up his hoodie like him, which makes me think more that is was in fact him.
but is the only reason why i think it was him, was really because i was looking to find him.

better question. why do i care. if he was such an asshole, why would i even want to find him. i guess i am just crazy like that. whats funny... is that i think a normal person would be freaking out.. but when i talk about it to my friends.. nothing in me is actually upset. when i talk about it, it's almost like i don't care. they are more angry at what happen to me, then i am.
he was just someone to hold for a short time, which i knew would probably never go anywhere anyways. maybe thats why its so easy to forget. but then why am i now freaking about it here?
i think anyone does though. the mind can be tricky like that. maybe i am more mad at the fact that people just shouldn't do that to other people. even if it was just about getting some ass.

on a better note.
Evan.
oh what can i say about Evan.

pro:
cute, funny, sweet, older, red head, very irish, smart, loves movies and loves most of the movies i love, hates drama, we work together, we can make out at work, corky but in a good way, cute, good kisser, always has weed, just fun to be with.

con:
much older, 24. we work together, always has weed, pretty much the same height as me, very skinny, doesn't want a relationship, makes me afraid to say what i really want to say sometimes, have a hard time knowing what he's thinking, which makes me think he is thinking something bad, i don't know if theres any chemistry. he could turn into another Kevin. which makes me add to the con.. i just am getting over stupid Kevin (even through there was nothing there to really to get over..still he's in the back of my brain)

why is working together a good and bad thing well i will tell you.
my plan was that no one at my job would find out about us. why? well where i work people say a lot of shit. sometimes good... but mostly bad which turns into worse by the next day! plus Evan kinda had a little something with this other girl at the job... soo she would prob say i stole him or something. which just leads to drama.. which i hate. and plus it really is no ones business who i date/sleep with.
well this plan failed. very horrible. by the 3rd day... three/four people knew. but are friends with Evan and he asked not to tell anyone and i actually for once trust boys and believe they will not tell.