the past is back..but maybe not to hant me

so here's a name i have not talked about in a while... Kevin. the fuzzy feeling deep down in the blackness of my heart which i didn't think i would ever feel for him again have come back... sadly though i do not think i can ever see myself falling in love with him.. which is weird because that is normally something i have no probable seeing in the future. my heart beats so fast when i read one of his texts.. its hard because he is away at school once again.. which was the main reason he hurt me so bad.. which i will explain a little later..... Bbbut sometimes idk i think we could be so good together, yet at the some time i know it will never be like it was before. These new fuzzy feeling feel is so different then before... maybe it was because he hurt me so bad the first time around that i can not look at him the same way as before.. but i really can not hold that against him because if i was in his shoes i would have done the same thing.
His main reason he ended things or really just stopped things was because he said "i cant be in a long distance relationship"... which he brought up everytime we chilled before he left.. when all i wanted to do was spend time with him... it was hard because i wanted to be with him but i knew that he was right and a long distance relationship would have never worked out... inthe end i think it deff was best now i have gone and i understand and wasn't rushed into thing.. and really if you think about it.. if you are ment to be with someone it will happen.. maybe not right away but FATE is real, i do not care what anyone says, it is.. it has to be.